In this episode of Midlife Rewritten, Devon Vernetti names something so many of us carry without realizing it has a name at all: the mental load.
If you’ve ever felt bone-tired without knowing exactly why… snapped over something “small” and then felt guilty afterward… or if you constantly feel like you’re keeping fifty tabs open in your mind just to hold everything together—this episode is for you.
You are not failing.
You’re functioning under the weight of something invisible.
Something heavy. Something very real.
✨ What Is the Mental Load?
The mental load is the invisible, ongoing cognitive labor of running a household, raising a family, and managing the emotional wellbeing of everyone around you.
It looks like:
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Remembering the dentist appointment
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Planning the birthday party
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Noticing the dog food is low
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Anticipating your partner’s stress
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Juggling meals, moods, and to-do lists—often all at once
This work disproportionately falls on women, especially in midlife. And while it’s invisible, it is also exhausting.
🌿 Why It Hits Hard in Midlife
By the time we reach midlife, many women are sandwiched between generations—raising kids or teens, supporting adult children, or caring for aging parents. Add in hormonal shifts, career changes, and evolving identities, and it’s no wonder emotional burnout, resentment, and overwhelm are so common.
From a Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) perspective, this often shows up as:
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Earth element depletion → overgiving, worry, exhaustion
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Water element depletion → fear, anxiety, disconnection
🛑 How to Begin Releasing the Mental Load
Devon shares simple but powerful steps you can take right now:
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Name it – Identify not just the tasks, but the thinking behind the tasks.
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Communicate – Invite others to see what you’ve been holding.
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Reassign or release – Delegate, delete, or do with full awareness.
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Create a pause – Claim small rituals of rest and presence that are just for you.
Reinvention in midlife isn’t always about big, dramatic changes. Sometimes, it begins by simply putting something down—and choosing not to carry what was never yours alone.
🔥 Resources & Next Steps
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Visit PurposefullyYou.com for tools, coaching, and resources on midlife reinvention
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Join the Phoenix Circle™ community for deeper support
💌 Call to Action
If this episode resonates, share it with a friend who’s silently carrying too much. And don’t forget to subscribe to Midlife Rewritten for weekly conversations about women’s empowerment, emotional healing, and midlife reinvention.
